"God, break me," seemed to be the cry of my heart this past week. When that whisper of conviction, or thought of rebellion would enter my brain, and I wanted to yield....yet, at the same moment I wanted to be obedient and obey Him. When I was frozen in indecision, I would silently cry, "God, help me.
He didn't fail me. Not once.
Always, He was there. Holding my hand. Waiting. Waiting for me to turn to Him.
And when I did call out to Him, He was listening. And he answered my prayers. He helped me. He was holding my hand. In fact, He was gently prying open my hand of the things I was holding too dear. When I would whisper, "God, help me let go," He did.
Yeah, I've been struggling with letting go. Letting go of my dreams, and idols. It's been hard. But, then again, who said life would be easy? Isn't the road that I want take narrow? "Few there be that find it..." Then....why do I want to take it?
Why do I want to sacrifice things that I love? Because, I'm choosing to believe that at the end, it will be worth it.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45-46 That merchant had to first give up all that he had. Then, he gained that pearl of great price.
Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” Jesus said to them...."And
everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother
or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:27, 29
My precious Mother reminded me of this passage last week. Encouraging me to forgo the things I was clinging to - for the thing I was holding could not compare to what Jesus had for me.
So, little by little, prayer by prayer, finger by finger, God is helping me to release my pebbles to Him. And in return, I trust that He will give me His jewels. I just have to remember that.
That in the end, it will be worth it all. He will be worth it all.
The disciples knew that - for they left the people they most love to follow the Savior. The man who found the pearl knew it too. He had found something that all he had could not compare with....Bummer for the man who previously owned the field. He didn't know what he had in his possession. He gave it up for what was trifle, meaningless. But, that merchant....wow, he found so much more.
Obviously, for the disciples and for the merchant, the reward of finding Jesus was FAR greater than any sacrifices they made.
God, help me to remember.
Rembember: choose Jesus.
Monday, November 12, 2012
After months of talking about it, and dreaming about it, I have finally created my own photography website! *TA-DA* Sounds silly, and it's nothing fancy, but, it's mine. =) And, it's a place where people can go and see the work I've done; and where I can potentially get some more business from. So, without further ado:
<3 <3 <3