"Whom Shall I Fear"

"I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side."

It Will Be Worth It

"God, break me," seemed to be the cry of my heart this past week.  When that whisper of conviction, or thought of rebellion would enter my brain, and I wanted to yield....yet, at the same moment I wanted to be obedient and obey Him.  When I was frozen in indecision, I would silently cry, "God, help me. 

He didn't fail me. Not once.

Always, He was there. Holding my hand. Waiting. Waiting for me to turn to Him. 

And when I did call out to Him, He was listening.  And he answered my prayers.  He helped me. He was holding my hand.  In fact, He was gently prying open my hand of the things I was holding too dear. When I would whisper, "God, help me let go," He did.

Yeah, I've been struggling with letting go.  Letting go of my dreams, and idols. It's been hard. But, then again, who said life would be easy? Isn't the road that I want take narrow? "Few there be that find it..."  Then....why do I want to take it?

Why do I want to sacrifice things that I love?  Because, I'm choosing to believe that at the end, it will be worth ^it.

 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls,  who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it."  Matthew 13:45-46  That merchant had to first give up all that he had. Then, he gained that pearl of great price. 

Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” Jesus said to them...."And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life."  Matthew 19:27, 29

My precious Mother reminded me of this passage last week. Encouraging me to forgo the things I was clinging to - for the thing I was holding could not compare to what Jesus had for me. 

So, little by little, prayer by prayer, finger by finger, God is helping me to release my pebbles to Him. And in return, I trust that He will give me His jewels.  I just have to remember that. 

That in the end, it will be worth it all. He will be worth it all. 

The disciples knew that - for they left the people they most love to follow the Savior.  The man who found the pearl knew it too.  He had found something that all he had could not compare with....Bummer for the man who previously owned the field.  He didn't know what he had in his possession.  He gave it up for what was trifle, meaningless.  But, that merchant....wow, he found so much more.

Obviously, for the disciples and for the merchant, the reward of finding Jesus was FAR greater than any sacrifices they made. 

God, help me to remember. 

Rembember: choose Jesus. 
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Photography Website

After months of talking about it, and dreaming about it, I have finally created my own photography website! *TA-DA* Sounds silly, and it's nothing fancy, but, it's mine. =)  And, it's a place where people can go and see the work I've done; and where I can potentially get some more business from. So, without further ado:

In His Image Photography

<3 <3 <3

They Didn't Know Him

This morning, I flipped open my Bible to Exodus 16. A few days ago, my dad shared the story of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea, and the way he explained it....was...idk, just really awesome!  It made me want to go and re-read that story.  So I did.  Folks, Exodus 15 is one amazing chapter!  I read it and afterwards sat thinking, Wow, God....you're are really cool! And powerful. :P 

So this morning, I flipped back to Exodus and decided to continue reading about the Israelites.  OK, Exodus 16 - The Israelites have been slaves for over 400 years and have been waiting and waiting for God to deliver them.  Well, He does!  He shows them His power over Pharaoh, and sets them free.  He brings them to the Red Sea, where they're caught between the water and Pharaoh's army.  And again, God shows His great might and love for them by parting the Red Sea!  Then, they praise and worship Him...and God leads them to the Wilderness of Sin (verse 1). It says, "The whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron."  WHAT?! Why would they complain?  God had just done tons of miracles before their very eyes and they complain?....

I was thinking about this very thing, wondering why they all would be grumbling, and this is what God revealed to me:  In Psalm 103:7 it says, "He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the people of Israel."  There's a difference between ways and acts.  Acts means what somebody does.  Ways means the reasons why they do things - who they are. Moses knew God.  And He was fully convinced to follow God wherever He would lead. Moses was intimate with God - God has spoken to him many times, and Moses had chosen to listen.  Therefor, when God led them to the Red Sea, Moses knew His God, and trusted that He would continue to be faithful to His people. When God brought them to the Wilderness of Sin, Moses could trust that God wouldn't fail them, because He was in control - He was leading them.  Therefore, Moses could take comfort in the fact that God had a purpose for everything He was doing. 

The Israelites didn't know God.  They knew of Him; they'd heard about Him, but didn't have that relationship with Him.  Therefore, when trials came into their life -  when God "trapped" them between a huge body of water and an angry army, they freaked out and got angry at Moses!  They didn't know the ways of God - they just knew He had freed them before.  But to them (because they didn't have that trust in God's faithfulness), that didn't mean He would do it again.  They didn't know that God is faithful. 

When God led them to the Wilderness of Sin, with no food, they couldn't trust Him because they didn't know Him.  They didn't know that He uses hard circumstances in our lives to draw us to Him; to refine us; to strengthen our faith.  They couldn't take comfort in the fact that God had a purpose for making them go hungry for a little bit.  They didn't know Him.   I believe that's one reason why they complained - because they couldn't/wouldn't take their eyes off of the circumstances and look to God, trusting in His love, care and faithfulness to them. 

This was the dynamite of insight that God gave me this morning.  It was SO AWESOME to me, 'cause I couldn't have come up with that on my own - it was totally Him!  And I didn't deserve it, He chose to bless, and show me something new in His Word because He delights in me, and wants me to know Him better. 

He delights in you, too.  And He is yearning for you to draw close, and to know Him - to know God's ways. 

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The more I go on in life, the more I learn this - Life is all about knowing Jesus Christ.

"On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.' "  (Matthew 7:22-23)

He's about relationship. Not religion.
He wants your love.  Not your service. 

Is That Possible, God?

God commands me to love Him with ALL of my heart, soul, mind and strength.  This morning, these thoughts ran through my head: Is that even possible?!  To love God with ALL my heart?  I'm human - I'm gonna fail - there's no way I could do that!  But then I remembered a truth someone told me: God wouldn't give me something to do without enabling me to do it... He won't say, "I command you to do this. But you have to figure out how to do it!"  Um....No.  That is not the Heavenly Father I know.  He is faithful, and WILL equip me to accomplish the task He has laid before me to do. 

So....Yes.  Loving God with ALL my heart IS impossible...if I try to do it on my own.  The only way I can love Him with ALL my heart is through Him.  Fancy that! I can't even love God on my own -  I need His grace (power) to help me to love Him as I ought.

“He who calls you IS faithful; He will surely do it."  1 Thessalonians 5:24

"Being Compassionate is Not My Goal"

An excellent post full of challenging, loving, truth....it's a quick read.  Hop over to "Meditations of His Love" to be challenged in your walk with Jesus.

Jesus, give me your eyes to see those who need your love today!

A Revelation of Love

I have a deep desire within my feminine heart to be loved, chosen, sought after, and highly treasured. Tonight, as I was laying in bed, pondering who Jesus is, He revealed His love to me.

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I envision a girl in her teens, standing on a wooden block, surrounded by a crowd of people.  Her long hair is dark brow, dirty and badly tangled.  Her face is dirty, her clothes are ripped and filthy, and she is barefoot.  Her hands are bond in chains, as she hopelessly hangs her head.  When she looks up, her eyes are empty, yet filled with anger.  The chains em-bonding are fastened to the wooden block she is standing on. The crowd of people surrounding her, are filthy, wicked men, all bidding on her. She is a slave. Dirty, homeless, worthless, no better than an animal.  She has no refined manners, no beautiful clothes, no brushed hair, or soft skin to make her attractive.  She is repulsive to those who look at her, and undeserving of anything beautiful or good in life. 

The men around her continue talking, but not bidding, for nobody wants her.  Each man hopes that the other will take her so as they can move on to better goods.  All of a sudden, the harsh voices turn to curious whispers, and the people begin to part.  They all turn heads to the back of the crowd to see a tall, regal man walking towards the wooden slave block.  As he draws closer the whispers die down, and all eyes are fixed on this one man.  He is tall, broad-shouldered, with dark, wavy hair and a dignified air about him.  The grand suit of armor he is wearing is seasoned with imperfections of previous wars - his noble sword hanging from his side.  He stops when he comes to the young girl. He slowly pulls a brown, leather pouch from his side and hands it to the man holding the chaines of the slave girl.  The seller opens the pouch, looks inside, and looks back meets eyes with the stranger.  He raises his eyebrows in question, and meets the confident, yet humble gaze of the man.  Slowly, he hands over the chains, and a key to the noble man.  He reaches for the girl's wrists, and delicately unlocks the chains that are binding her.  Tenderly, he grabs her hand and leads her out of the crowd.  They come to a road right outside of the city she was in, and he stops.  She dare not look up at him, for fear of meeting eyes with him.  Yet he gently tilts her chin upwards, and they meet eyes.

"I have bought your freedom.  It is yours.  You do not have to be a slave to anyone anymore.  If you want, you can come with me, and have joy, peace, hope and love in my home... Or, you can go back to a life of despair, pain and bondage.  It's your choice."

Bewilderment fills the girl's heart and mind as she tries to think up all the possible reasons why someone would do that for her.  "Why? What do you want from me?"

"I honestly don't want anything from you...except your love.  I love you.  I chose you.  I redeemed you.  And I want you to experience the joy that comes from being free, and truly loving me.  I don't want you to serve me, or try to earn you freedom - there's nothing you could ever do to earn that.
I truly want you to accept my gift to you, and rest in my love for you, and experience true life!"

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That girl was me.  I was dirty, wretched, angry...in bondage to sin, when Jesus walked into my life and rescued me.  I was sinful and fully deserving of eternal punishment, and separation from God.  Because He is holy, and I was not.  Yet, for some reason, Jesus loved me.  He saw me, headed towards death, and stepped in, and took what I deserve. 

He loved me.  He chose me.  He bought my freedom.  He promises to bless my life and daily pour out His blessings on me.  But, I did nothing to deserve it!  He gave me the whole world, and I rejected Him, countless times.  However, He has never given up on me.  He's never gotten tired of me.  He's never despised me.  He hates my sin - because it separates me from Him. So, He did all He could to make a way for that sin to be gone from my life, so I could know Him. 

He pursued me.  He sought for me, fought for me, and died for me.  He did all that to woo my heart - to win my love.  All along, that's all He's every wanted, is for me to love Him.  That's what He's been longing for from the beginning of time is a relationship - deep, intimate and loving - with me.

And as I was lying in bed, it hit me, "Why?  Why would you want to love a wretch like me?  Why would you want me?"  I still don't know.  But I do know this - Jesus Christ is Love itself.  He loves.  And His love isn't dependent on how we respond to Him.  It just is.  His love is constant, never-changing, higher than the mountains, broader than the sea, satisfying, beautiful, exciting, and ever-giving, yet never running out.  And just like He wanted me, He wants you. 

He loves you.  He chose you.  He is seeking you out showing you His great love.  He wants you to be freed from the bondage you're in, and He wants you to experience His joy, peace, hope, love and life.
He wants you to love Him back -  He longs to be loved by you.  He yearns to pour out His blessings upon you, He wants to fill you up and satisfy your every desire, He wants to have an intimate relationship with you and share His joys, secrets and sorrows. 

He is waiting for you.  He has offered you the choice, what will you decide?

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"You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."  Jeremiah 29:11

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things."  Psalm 107:9"And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."  Colossians 2:13-14
"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  Romans 10:9

"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"  Psalm 34:8

Living Loved

                God has had me and my family on an amazing journey in the past month or so.  He has been teaching us what is means to "Keep yourselves in the love of God," (Jude 21).  We have been learning that God has an incredibly, merciful, mind-blowing, love for us - a love that isn't dependent on how we act, but is the same yesterday, today and forever. So many people get saved (including myself) and immediately wonder, "How can I serve Jesus?" or "What's my ministry?" They fall into a life of "serving Jesus," when in reality, Jesus really wants us to love Him.  He doesn't want us to be obsessed with our ministry, but consumed with love for Him. 
                It's been really freeing for me, as I've come to realize that I don't have to "do" anything - everything has already been done.  Jesus did everything at the cross! Now, all He desires is that I would love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30).  I don't have to do anything?! No, Jesus did it all for you - He only wants you to rest in His love. 

My mom's theme verse for the past months has been Jude 21, "Keep yourselves in the love of God..." For a long time I've wondered what that means, and now I know.  Jesus has shown me that He wants me to keep myself in His love - to meditate on God's love for me, to ponder His love for me, to praise Him for His love, to read about His love, to just rest in His love....Through different life experiences, (i.e. books, testimonies, family time, messages, the Bible, studying for a Bible lesson, etc) God has been revealing His love to me.  And friends, His love is one amazing thing!  Next time you go to the beach, or are even on a sandy road, stop for a second and pick up a handful of sand.  Then, try to pick up just one grain of sand, and think about this verse, "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand..."  (Psalm 139:17-18)   

Just one of those grains of sand is one thought that God thinks about you! And the verse goes on to say that all of His thoughts toward you outnumber the sand on the seashore!  I know that's a common verse, however, for me, that was a huge revelation!  God really loves me!
                As I said before, it's been so freeing for me to realize that I don't have to do anything, except love Jesus.  For a long time, I struggled with knowing what my quiet times should look like - "How long should I pray for? Do I have to do hard, intercessory prayer every single day?  Do I have to read the Bible for at least fifteen minutes to be O.K. that day?  What if I'm not hearing anything when I'm being still, is it O.K. to move onto Bible reading?"   Questions like those would plague me as I tried to have my time with Jesus.  (Through the counsel of wise friends and family, I've come to understand, that that was Satan trying to distract me.)  I say it's freeing, because now, I know that I can go to have time with Jesus, and just be with Jesus.  "It's a friendship, not a formula," I heard someone say.  And once I heard that, a weight lifted off my shoulders!  You mean, I'm not sinning if I don't do twenty minutes of intercessory prayer every day?  NO! Praise the Lord!  "My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away...Let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."  (Song of Solomon 2:10, 14) 

 

Jesus loves me, and wants my love in return.  He wants my heart - all of my love, thoughts, dreams, desires, time, etc, to be wrapped up in Him. For now, He has called me to continually "Come" into His presence and rest in His amazing love for me.  And honestly, I'm learning, that there is no more satisfying, fulfilling, peaceful, joyful place to be.

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